Author: Yvonne Hymel
I was feeling an undercurrent of uneasiness when I went to prayer. Nothing major to put my finger on but a number of unsettling things presented themselves as possible culprits. Of course, all were out of my control and perhaps that was the most unsettling aspect of it all. In any event, I began prayer as I often do, with a short journal entry sharing with the Lord exactly how I was feeling.
Recently, I’ve been using two apps as part of my prayer, “Jesuit Prayer” and “3 Minute Retreat,” so as I searched for them, I thought “Let me see if Jesus has anything to say to me about this.” Jesuit Prayer began with:
“Where are we invited into the ‘peace of Christ’ rather than worry over the future?” My eyes moistened at the intimacy of this response of Love. The Gospel of the day came next:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. You heard me say to you, ‘I’m going away, and I am coming to you’. John 14: 27-31A
The title of the reflection that followed was “A peace we do not understand” and spoke of the trust in a future neither Mary nor Joseph understood but strengthened by that trust, they found peace.
With gratitude in my heart, I next went to the “3 Minute Retreat.” This does not use the daily scripture, but today the title was, “God is with Us;” the Scripture quote:
“And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20.
The brief reflection followed, then the question: “In a world of broken promises, what does it mean to me to know that God’s love and presence is eternal?” At that moment, I knew with a knowing far deeper than any intellectual understanding, that no matter what is happening in my life, no matter what the future holds, God dwells within me and sustains me with deep intimacy.
Finally, the light dawned, and I felt like I woke up. Like Peter who could walk on the stormy sea as long as his eyes were fixed on Jesus but faltered when his gaze focused on the turbulent waters, I was looking at the wrong image. Peace comes, not from certitude and control. Peace is received when our trust is in what is intimate and eternal, God, dwelling within and within whom we rest. The eyes of my heart turned to Jesus and my heart was filled with peace, that final and most precious gift of the Lord!
Moving then into quiet meditation came naturally where I sought to rest in God.